Be Curious, Not Judgmental: How to Ask Better Questions

There’s a famous clip from Ted Lasso in which he references a quote often attributed to Walt Whitman: “Be curious, not judgmental.” For the leader who always feels the need to have the answers, it’s good advice.

One of my favorite articles to share on this topic is Judith Ross’s “How to Ask Better Questions,” published in the Harvard Business Review (May 2009).

Often, leaders are quick to answer questions. After all, you’re usually in a leadership position because you’ve been right. A lot. But Ross cautions against rushing to provide solutions. As she puts it:

“If your first instinct is to suggest a solution, think again.”

Ross explains, "By taking the expedient route, you impede your direct report's development, cheat yourself of access to fresh ideas, and place an undue burden on your own shoulders."

I was once taught that the best way to grow future leaders, and to avoid becoming the bottleneck for every decision, was to respond to most questions with a simple question of my own:

“I don’t know. What do you think?”

As Ross notes, this kind of response prompts critical thinking, supports development, and often leads to surprising new approaches. And, honestly, 9 times out of 10, the person already has the answer. They’ve thought it through, they’re closer to the details, and just need a little nudge of confidence.

By staying curious, I could spend less time solving every small issue and more time on the big, messy problems. The ones that really needed my attention.

Ross goes on to say that your job as a leader is to be curious. If you want to understand what’s really going on in your organization, you have to ask empowering questions.

"Empowering questions are usually open ended and begin with why."

For years, I kept Ross’s “Empowering Questions” pinned to my office bulletin board as a constant reminder to ask smarter, more intentional questions.

Hopefully, these help you as you look to grow the next generation of leaders in your own organization. I’d highly encourage reading the full article, “How to Ask Better Questions”, if you want to dive deeper into the subject.

And if you just want a little inspiration for why this matters, then let’s revisit Ted Lasso’s legendary dart scene and why it’s worth being curious in all facets of life: